It gets real and how? This is when you bring your baby home.. all those months that you spent prepping up for, the moment of truth, is finally here and you would be excited as a puppy. But for most of us, the reality would bring in anxiety, fear of unknown and that sudden rush of blood!

This is going to be a journey of many firsts: your baby’s first home, first room, first night together as a family, first diaper change, first bath, amongst many other.

❣️1. Breast Milk – supply issues:

There are a couple of things that can happen with regards to the most important part of this journey – Nursing – Baby’s feeding and your milk supply.

• Excess milk supply – yes, there is such a thing! It’s called Engorgement, it kicks in on Day 3 or 4, will probably be your 2nd morning home in case of a vaginal delivery.
  • How does it feel? Your boobs feel like ROCKS. They are hard and unfortunately we can’t imagine the sight. They are painful to the extent that you might feel this is the end of the world.
  • What can be done? You could oil your breasts, followed by warm compression or a hot shower and then manually drain them. Remember the idea is to just make it bearable and not empty them – otherwise it will help them fill up right back, pretty quick because our body may confuse it with “baby needs more” – that’s the power of human body. To end the process for some much needed comfort, end it with cold compress or use chilled cabbage leaves. Please do remember that enzymes in cabbage leaves are known to reduce milk supply and therefore, it’s advised that we don’t use it for more than 40-45 mins. Mint consumption also reduces supply. This is what I did, but please do speak to your lactation consultant. Yes, that’s a legit profession – a learning for my ignorant self.
  • Is there a silver lining? Yes and not just one!
    • 💜 Your Baby will not suffer and will have plenty to eat!
    • 💜 You can save every drop of this GOLD and freeze. This is the best milk you will ever produce and every drop counts. I saved every drop barring the first day because I was extremely frustrated and crying in pain, so much so that I threw it all in anger. I’m sorry I did but I’m not sorry because I know what I was going through. So no judgements here, please.
    • 💜 If you tend to be one of those blessed Mammas that even after supply-regulation, happen to produce more than what’s needed, please please please register for MILK BANKS and give it to a baby-mamma in need. You might save a life, save a mother lot of pain and in turn receive loads of blessings.
  • How long does it last? You just have to stay at it and please know that there will come a day your body would’ve learnt just how much it needs to produce. This may last anywhere from a couple of days to 6-7 weeks. By the 6 week mark most mamma-baby body communication has happened and the duo has understood and adapted itself. Mine lasted about 7w 🤣!
• No or Low milk supply – This is a tougher problem to solve, well at least psychologically. My heart goes out for them Mammas, for their is no stronger guilt than not being able to feed your baby your own milk.. 🤍
  • 🤍How does it feel? I don’t know and I don’t wish this upon my worst enemy. I’ve had some friends who didn’t make enough milk and they felt heart broken and filled with guilt. What I told them is what I’m going to tell you. Feeding your baby is of highest importance, please don’t beat yourself up. Instead take comfort in the fact that there might be some donors and if not anything else, we have formula feed in this world. Once you convince yourself of this, we will tackle the supply issues.
  • 🤍What can be done?
    • Skin to Skin and Feeding – swear by it! Let baby do it’s magic. I’ve heard real stories of how mothers restarted their nursing journey after a couple of months’ break, let alone those who kept tweaking pumping and feeding patterns to up the supply. Once your baby is latched on, he will start sucking on. Offer both breasts. This is the best stimulation technique there is. Each Baby-Mamma unit is different and therefore, works differently. This is how our bodies communicate.
    • Eat well – Focus here and fix it. Ask your army of women, older the better, there’s a lot of wisdom there. Things I’ve been told by Indian mothers and grandmothers (who’ve themselves exclusively breast fed) are
      • You need plenty of fluids. Feel thirsty, drink something. Water is the best.
      • Eat almonds, Arhar Dal, Dark green leafy veggies.
      • Put a dollop of ghee or clarified butter, in as many dishes as you want. It’s yum.
      • Use fennel seeds, cumin, garlic, ginger and cinnamon – generously in your cooking.
    • Rest often – think of it as a machinery under maintenance break or a holiday we yearn for after months long tough work life. Our bodies have undergone a major experience and are preparing to nourish that little baby. We need to give it enough rest to ensure it has the energy and the time to do what it wants to do. It is very difficult to rest when you have that adorable little baby of yours to attend to and adore. This is where you need all hands on deck. Ask, get and accept help, the more the better. Nap, even if you can only manage 15mins, but do it.

❣️2. Baby’s Feeding:

This is another story.. Can he latch well? Does he have a tongue tie? Is he drinking enough? Is he gaining enough wait? How many diapers is he soiling? Most first time mothers start keeping a track of these things until they become comfortable in their skin.

❣️3 Air bubbles (Slang Queefing):

This seemed the funniest and most stupid thing ever. This is vaginal gas! Yes you basically (also) fart from the front now.. it’s cuter, if you feel so! I was worried but then ended up finding it annoyingly funny, this is the air trapped in your vagina. Every time you bend for anything, to pick up your baby or put something back; you feel flutters or bubbles down there, sounds of which (mostly) only you could hear.. this is a common condition (rarely, can be a cause for concern).

Practice Kegels, strengthen those pelvic floor muscles. And speak to your physiotherapist.

❣️4. Soreness:

Soreness is the new normal – for the next couple of weeks. What happens after that? Well, it feels like nothing happened. Our bodies are AMAZING! They heal beyond our imaginations, we just have to let them.

❣️5. Aches and Pains:

I thought I was fine until my massage lady pressed some nodes and points. Oh boy! did I scream!! Why did I not feel the pain before? The answer is simple, our babies become centre of the world for us. Motherhood kicks in hard, you don’t notice what you (or sometimes even your partner) feel or need. You are overwhelmed with joy and other obvious pains but the fact that body needs some motherly touch of its own isn’t on our list.

Indians call them Jhapa, I hired from a Malaysian postnatal massage chain. Please book someone who could visit and massage. This is one investment you need to do for yourself, which is technically also for your baby. I’m glad I booked one. In fact, half way through, I remember thinking to myself what would I have done without one. Thank God for my Baby Dadda and Mother – for being so insistent that i absolutely needed some pampering and lots of healing.

❣️6. Balding:

Gone are those pregnant beautiful hair days! Welcome hair fall.. oh no sorry.. welcome Balding! You will shed them in lengths and numbers, with every single gentle stroke! Nothing much can be done, it’ll normalise in a couple of months. Well, hopefully 🤞🏻

❣️7. Bleeding:

Not all women bleed for a month or more. Some stop right after they reach home and for some it goes on until 5-6w mark. Everything in between, is equally normal for most people, with healthy pregnancy and birth.

❣️8. Sleeplessness:

The one thing everyone talks about is this. So, this is the one thing all new mothers are prepared for. Although this is not entirely true. Every baby is different – some are nocturnal (I was one apparently), some are light sleepers and some are a breeze when compared to our exaggerated assumptions. Also, every mother, every couple and every household is different. Being prepared for sleeplessness is the best but getting your partners and family members involved is even better.

❣️9. Wondering about getting a rhythm:

When will I go on a date again? If you are not following a hard confinement – it can be pretty soon! Otherwise, the moment it’s over – you must make every attempt to take out some time for each other – even if it’s a quick walk or a brief coffee date. It matters. It’s not about you feeling normal again but also about your partner, who does not even know what’s happening inside your body! He might just be feeling neglected or must be overwhelmed himself, not knowing how he could be of help. You have a baby because you have each other. Never forget that.

When will I have sex again? There’s no rule but they say wait you must until after your 6w check up.

Will it be painful? Will it feel different? May be, initially. But our bodies are amazing! Once it’s healed, it would be just the same. Sometimes even better 😉

❣️10. Coffee, wine?

One cup or glass wouldn’t even make its way to your milk.. so go ahead and enjoy! But of course check with the doctors and lactation consultants, I’m no expert: just using common sense and a little bit of science that i understand.

Despite all this, you will absolutely ❤️ being a mother!

This is the absolute best that can ever happen to anyone.

This is what Forth trimester actually felt like!

I hope it makes you remember your days or helps you prepare yourself slightly better.